There's surely no greater disappointment than visiting one's favorite website in hopes of new content, only to find the same thing as last time. The Clownyard feels your pain. As a service-oriented publication, we're pleased to introduce The Clownyard News, a periodical email that does the legwork for you. In each issue, you'll learn about new items on the site, as well as others appearing in Flak, Yankee Pot Roast, and anyone else desperate enough to take them — all linked for your one-click convenience.

But I get so much spam as it is. How often will this thing come?
Not that often. Now and then.

Will it include value-added features like HTML formatting, graphics, and downloadable screensavers?
No.

Seems kind of meager, doesn't it?
You'll get your money's worth.

I thought it was free.
This conversation has become tiresome. If you're interested in receiving The Clownyard News, click on the magic words below to notify our state-of-the-art fulfillment center. (Okay, it just launches a pre-addressed email. You still have to push "send.") Otherwise, why are you still looking at this page?