Things You're Not Born Knowing

"The North Pole" is just an expression. There isn't really a pole.

The stars are far, far away.

Your grandparents lived rich lives and have interesting stories to tell.

A swallowed orange seed will not grow into an orange tree in your stomach.

Islands don't float. They rise from the ocean floor.

Telekinesis is quite rare. So are tidal waves, ghosts, and gold nuggets.

Animals feel pain.

Even if you dig all day long, you won't get that much closer to China.

Post cards take longer than letters to arrive.

It's a lot easier to get into trouble than to get back out.

Bullies aren't as happy as they seem.

TV shows are paid for by commercials.

Your parents have lives of their own.

Anyone can grow up to be president, but you have to work really hard to do it.

Teachers can be wrong.

Nothing lasts forever.

Everyone gets nervous about asking somebody out; some people are just better at hiding it.

Gasoline costs money. So do water, electricity, and groceries.

While there is no "permanent record" as such, this only proves the indifference of the world to your affairs.

Historiography is an art, not a science, and objectivity is a mirage.

No one wants to hear your excuses.

The only people who get "discovered" are frozen cavemen. Everybody else has to work for it.

"I need you more as a friend" never works.

What goes around, comes around.

There's nothing romantic about drinking alone in a seedy bar.

In the long run, love is more important than sex.

Getting married is the easy part.

There's a good reason you're not supposed to tell people you're pregnant until the second trimester.

Life goes on.

If you don't point the baby's penis down in the diaper, he'll soak through his jammies every time.